I thought it was time I wrote a post to explain more about our situation as well as our TTC history. I must warn you in advance, it is long and rather jumbled and my recollection of events (especially the medical things) may not be spot on, but you get the general idea. I was keeping track of dates of appointments and results on my phone but my phone calendar decided to be awesome and erase one day :(
I've had quite a bit of time to think and pray and after being "stuck" for what seems like a very long time, I am ready to shake that off and jump in full force again and get some answers!
I could really use some advice at the end so THANKs in advance!!!
March 2006--first date
December 2007--He proposed Christmas night! :)
January 2009--start NFP classes for marriage prep. (Fiance and I joke off and on about having 10-20 children. Ha.) I had never thought too much about my cycle before because it came every month and was basically "normal" for all I knew. I am so glad he went with me to every NFP meeting because our instructor-man person always made me feel weird. Anyway, we continued charting and...
August 2009--Got married!
We thought about how crazy it would be to have a honeymoon baby and were both nervous and excited by that possibility! I suppose you could say we did not "not try" for a few months. After only being a few days late, I took my first pregnancy test in October and got my first BFN. We were both so excited we couldn't even wait to get home! I took the test in a Target bathroom.
We pretty much spend the next year charting, taking pre-natal vitamins, and hoping to get lucky :)
I believe it was October or November 2010 when I went to my regular obgyn, Dr. M, for a check-up. I told him we were trying and that I thought that maybe my progesterone was low. (This was the only possibly out of the ordinary thing I thought it could be due to hints on my charts. I had brown bleeding sometimes and had heard low progesterone might be a cause). He prescribes me progesterone pills without running any tests and my husband and I get all excited about trying something new. Probably shouldn't have gotten so excited since he really knew nothing about me and writing that prescription didn't seem like a big deal for him, but what did I know?
After a few months we decide to make an appointment with the doctor my SIL (faith makes things possible..) was seeing.
My old Dr (Dr. M) was a nice Catholic guy, but he just seemed to be so busy with patients and we really wanted to get a bit more attention to find out what was going on.
April 2011-- I made an appt with Dr. H and go for a consultation.
They ended up checking me that day to see if my uterus and ovaries looked okay. My mind was being crazy and was half expecting them to say that I didn't even have the right parts or something, but everything seemed fine. The next time I go, they take my blood to do tests and I wait for the call with the results. The lady calls a few days later and tells me that my progesterone is .5
I have no idea what that means or what was "normal" but then find out that my number was quite low.
Dr. H prescribes Clomid and wants me to do day 22 bloodwork. I do this and find out that my progesterone did go up! ( I can't quite remember what it went up to)
June 2011-- Dr H ups my Clomid dose and has me come in for an ultrasound series to check the size of my follicles. When one got to a decent size, they gave me the HCG trigger shot and so I began clomid, ultrasounds, shots and bloodwork. In July, the doctor recommends that we get my DH tested. We were going to do an SA soon after I started seeing Dr H, but there was never really a good time and we kept putting it off.
At the end of August, DH and I go on vacation with my family for a few days.
We are finally able to do the SA test the day before we leave (a Friday) and we are just glad we turned it in and were done with that super fun procedure.
On Monday (still on vacation) we call for the results and find out that dh's results are not so great. We both feel like the wind got knocked out of us and are surprised, sad, confused, frustrated....what a way to end a vacation :(
(Dh is active and pretty healthy for all we knew). The lady on the phone gives us a number to make an appointment with a urologist (Dr. B) and we decide that I should stop going to their office and taking clomid and such until we find out more about dh.
September 2011-- we go to meet with this new doctor for the appointment and he basically tells us that for our situation there is nothing he can do. Dh's results showed low count and motility (which Dr. B says you can do things to help) but VERY low morphology (which he basically said cannot be fixed by diet, exercise, pills, etc...) He tells us he wants us to do another 2 SAs to make sure about the results and we leave his office feeling extremely disappointed and a little angry at his 'there's nothing that can be done' attitude. He definitely didn't give us the hope we were looking for.
Dh was so upset by all of this and I can understand why. I was so very upset not just that this was another obstacle, but mostly because this was something I wanted dh to have no part of. I wanted so badly for it to be just me...I had prepared myself that I was the one who needed fixing and he was the one who would support me. I never guessed he would have any of the problems.
After that, dh got so busy at work and with school and it was never a good time to do another test so it kept getting put off. It was December before we were able to do another SA test and the results came back without much change from the first. (Count was slightly better but morph was worse.)
Dr. B had said he wanted to do 3 SA tests, but I don't really see the point since the results have come back much the same. Besides, he gave us no real hope or direction on what he would do or what plan of action we should take if morphology was still very low or even if it had gotten better. Also, I have heard that the timing is important for these tests and we had to drive about 50 minutes away to turn in the test! I really think this may have affected the results and I don't see a point to going through this again with the same clinic if we would still have to drive so far!
So, this is basically the point where we are now. We have taken a little break from everything for a while after the discouraging results, but we are ready to jump back in now. I know the break has helped us, and I truly feel we have grown closer these past months. I really would say recently has been the best we have been together since we got married! (Obviously God knows what he is doing:)
However, right now in regards to our TTC, I feel rather lost. I still feel somewhat new on this whole IF journey in regards to what we have tried and compared to other couples who have been through much much more. Then at other times I feel like it has lasted forever! I don't really know where to go or what to pursue next in regards to DH. (I actually have found a new family practice dr who is a rockstar pro-lifer and does work with IF couples so I made an appt for a consultation and hope to get more extensive tests done bc I know I have low progesterone, but have no idea if something else may be going on too?!)
I have heard about some vitamins that men can take to help numbers but I have so many questions..
1. Will these things actually help morphology? The first test showed 2% and the last test showed 0% normal :(
2. Does he need to be supervised by a doctor/get a prescription or do you just buy this stuff online and follow the directions?
3. How long should he take those vitamins before we can expect anything to get better so that I could take the right meds/ shots again?
(I have heard it can take 3-6 months?)
4. I have heard these things can be pricey..(we'll do whatever it takes of course...just wondering what our options are)
5. Does Dr. Hilgers work with guys? I cannot find anything that says he might on the PPIV website
I reeeally would rather not have to do another SA test, but will of course if it is necessary...oh boy.
This Dr. B fellow was certainly not Catholic or familiar with NFP in any way so I am just really hoping that there are things out there that he doesn't know about and that it is NOT hopeless like he seems to believe. I have tried to do some research but I get so very frustrated by just typing different questions into google. I need a second opinion...I need help!!
Does anyone have any experience in this area? Or know anyone who does? I have been reading new blogs and I find information but then I forget where I read things! (Sorry for being such a mess!) I really need to make a chart!
ANY advice would be SO very appreciated and if you made it this far in this rather long post....
THANK YOU!! You rock! ;)
Today I am thankful that it is FRIDAY!
