We made the appointment mid-January so of course it seemed like such a long wait...
but it is almost here.
This coming Monday, Dh and I will drive down to Austin for my first consultation appointment with Dr. K at the Vitae Clinic. Great name for a clinic, right?
After 5 months without results, September-January, of clomid 5-9 and HCG injections P+3, 5, 7, and 9 our local NaPro Dr. referred us to the clinic in Austin. Our Dr. P said that couples will go through this regimen about 3-6 months before trying something new (surgery in most cases). We were going to finish out the whole 6 months, but then Dh had to go to Korea for 10 days and "trying" this month just wasn't possible. He was extremely missed, but I can't say I was sad to miss a month of pills and shots.
There were a few events over his absence where it would have just been so nice to be together face to face, whether it was something not-so-great (like an in-person pg announcement at a girls lunch, or being sick all one night and day) or a very extremely wonderful thing (like our sweet, beautiful niece being born and wanting to share the joy with him). Needless to say, it was wonderful to welcome him home last Friday. Though he did get major brownie points for sending me flowers from Korea, which just happened to arrive on the day I was sick..perfect timing! Also, I am super thankful for technology! We were able to FaceTime quite a bit while he was there and talk via Skype and it would have been much more difficult and long without those things!
So with his big trip behind us, we are headed for the next big thing in Feb. for us...going to the appt. on Monday. I know Dr. K will review my case and from what I understand, it seems like I am headed for surgery.
I am so ready to have this surgery and see what he finds, but most importantly, I am ready for it to be fixed!
Though I was really hoping to avoid surgery, if that is what it is going to take I am ready for this next step. I used to think that low progesterone was my only issue, but who knows?
Not sure if I have mentioned it here before but we did decide to order a few things that some of you had suggested to help Dh. I believe October was the first month that Dh started taking Mucuna Pruiens, and also Proxeed. Our Dr. here had said that they "try to maximize the woman's health" and pretty much don't do anything for the husband so we thought it couldn't hurt to try a few supplements y'all suggested. He did really great taking them both twice a day for about three weeks but then it became more difficult to keep up with. I am hoping we can get serious about it again especially if our chances improve with me having surgery. I want us to be as healthy as possible so we will have our best shot of conceiving!
My "funk" although better, has unfortunately continued to hang around. Overall though, I am feeling cautiously hopeful and ready for a new direction. I know we will have a bit more clarity once we return from Austin.
A friend wrote this quote on Fb a while back and it has stayed with me...
"Often we want to be able to see into the future. We say, "How will next year be for me? Where will I be five or ten years from now?" There are no answers to these questions.
Mostly we have just enough light to see the next step: what we have to do in the coming hour or the following day. The art of living is to enjoy what we can see and not complain about what remains in the dark. When we are able to take the next step with the trust that we will have enough light for the step that follows, we can walk through life with joy and be surprised at how far we go. Let's rejoice in the little light we carry and not ask for the great beam that would take all shadows away."
--Henry Nouwen
I am trying to be content with my little light for now and know that God will remove the shadows when and how He sees fit. Or perhaps He will choose to leave the shadows that force me to learn greater trust...which is definitely something I need extra at times!
Thankful we have at least enough light for our
next step.
Also, I'm quite thankful for this Lent and the
chance to simplify! I am definitely enjoying
living with fewer distractions right now.
