Let go and let God (a new appt)

Soooo, remember that one time?

When I said I had an appointment on that Monday at 2:30?



Yeaaa, that definitely did NOT go as planned.


Here's what happened.


Dh planned to get off work early to come home and get ready to go with me. He texted me from work that morning so many times to say he couldn't even concentrate because he was so excited! I must say, I certainly was too.
When I made the appointment, I remember thinking...10 days! Only 10 days until we get to see this little one!


We got to the office about 2 so we could fill out the necessary paperwork and such and have plenty of time. I went to the desk to check in and they couldn't find my name. I started to get a little worried but then I spelled my name just to check. Sure enough, they had spelled my name wrong so I breathed a sigh of relief that it was just a simple mistake.

But there was still something wrong and they said I didn't have an appointment that day. They told me that my appointment was actually LAST week and that I had missed my appointment!!

umm, what?!

In my last post I listed the whole conversation with the front desk lady. We got our appt moved from the 20th to the 18th, and then she called back later to say there had been a cancellation for Monday. I was SO excited that we had an appointment date before Dh went out of town that I realize that I never actually verified the date...and she never actually said it. So, we were working with a particular week and I never even thought for a moment that she meant Monday the 9th! I mean, I made the appt. on a Friday!! Don't you think that if I had realized she meant the 9th that I would have jumped for joy and freaked out that we would have an appointment in a mere 3 days??

Of course, realizing what was happening made me quite emotional, but when the nurses told us the other doctor wouldn't even see us that day and that there were no doctors in the office on Tuesday,
I. pretty. much. lost it.

3 days would have been amazing of course, but I didn't really mind if we had to wait a few more days, or even weeks.

All I cared about was getting an appointment before Dh went out of town.

I know there is a reason for everything, but somehow, I just can't figure this one out. Why did this mistake have to happen? Our first pregnancy in four years. All the waiting and praying and dreaming. And my Dh will not be there with me to see our little one for the first time. To hear the heartbeat.

The only thing I can think of is that God is clearly still reminding us that we are not done learning patience. (um, duh!) And that we are certainly not in control. "Let go and let God" right?

Still, we are counting our blessings and thanking God for this baby. There are no red flags so far, and nothing is actually "wrong." I am taking my prometrium and being monitored every two weeks.

Dh left yesterday, and my new appointment is tomorrow.

We have much more peace about it than we did earlier in the week. God is taking care of all three of us...and one way or another, we will get to see this little one tomorrow. I will take video and send it to him as soon as I can.

Still doesn't feel real, but I know tomorrow will help it to sink in more! We have so much to be thankful for!!

In the long run, this is just a small hiccup in what will certainly be a grand journey. Dh will have other chances to come to other appointments and see our baby.


((side note: I realize that I must be rather fond of the word "certainly." I seem to use it quite often))


I am offering up every bit of frustration or uncertainty for all of you!!!



I am thankful for continued lessons in patience and
the fact that God is in control. His timing is ultimately
always perfect. (Why, after dealing with infertility
would I have ever though otherwise? Sheesh!)
I am still somewhat a cloud of shock and extreme
gratitude for this gift. The shock will wear off
someday I'm sure, but I know the gratitude never will.