Returning to blogland

I think it's time to come back.


I didn't intend on taking such a long break after my last post...it just sort of happened.


I've had many topics I could have written about that have been swirling in my head for weeks, but nothing ever seemed to make it into a post.  I've had lots of time to think and though I am still working through a few things, I do believe I'll be able to sort it out enough to write more in depth for posts in the coming weeks.

 I'll start with a very good thing.

Last Wednesday was our third anniversary!! Three years down and looking forward to 238,712 more lovely ones to come. Well, I would settle for 75 I suppose.
A few pics from a few years ago.

We started the celebrations the weekend before with a "reverse date"! My Dh is so awesome and knows how much I love dessert. We I have been wanting to try this sweets place where you can make ice cream sandwiches by picking any kind of cookie and ice cream you want. The past few dates, we have eaten dinner first and then been too full/tired to go for dessert.
So, Saturday, despite the rain, we went to the sweet place first and then to dinner after. Afterwards we went to Wal-Mart, got the Hunger Games (which had just come out!) and went home for our movie. It was so lovely and nice to do something different for a change!

Then on Wednesday, our actual anniversary, we went downtown for another nice evening.

I have to say, in the midst of things that go wrong, are unexpected or difficult, it was sure nice to spend the whole week being thankful for the biggest blessing God has given us...our marriage. (Thankful everyday of course, though)
We have had our ups and downs and I can honestly say that this third year has been our best yet! We have worked through so much and I cannot even believe how blessed we are to have each other. (goeswithoutsayingbutIwillanyway... I crazy love this man!!:) Going into our fourth year I have such high hopes that God will continue to bless us.  I pray that no matter what happens (good, bad, ugly, or fantastic) I will be able to approach each situation or even challenge with the mindset that God loves us, we have our lives, and we have each other. There are no guarantees in life, and I want more than anything to wake up everyday thinking of our haves and not the have-nots.

With that said, we would love nothing more on this earth than to be blessed with a child. When I left off last I believe I had just finished my last bloodwork appointment. At my doctors appointment, he said that most of my hormones look fine, except for that darn progesterone. Apparently it starts out okay and then drops after the peak time. He prescribed clomid for days 5-9 and then I will start HCG injections on P+3, P+5, 7, and 9.  I am definitely a bit nervous about having shots at home. When I had the HCG booster before, it was only one shot and it was done by a nurse. My Dh has said he will do them, but I just want to make sure and not mess anything up! If nothing happens in three months, he will send me to Austin for surgery. I think this would be to check and see if my tubes are open, no endo and that sort of thing. I am pretty hopeful it will not come to that but who knows. I don't want to totally psych myself up to be completely let down either!

 As nervous as I am about the shots, I say...bring it on!! I am definitely glad to have a new game plan, and besides if this is what it takes to get to meet our sweet babies, then I will gladly do it! I am even glad that there was some sort of problem. I would hate for them to say, "Don't see anything wrong, not sure what to do with you!" 

Lord knows I have had my meltdowns in the past weeks. Those times I know it is only Jesus that holds me because normally I am by myself when it hits me out of nowhere. I am grateful for my life, for my wonderful husband of three years, and feel in my heart that God would not give me this desire to be a mother without something coming from it. If not biological, then adopted (and maybe even both anyway) and if not that, then nannying, and if not that then just loving the heck our of my nieces and nephews and any other children I can find.

I haven't been commenting much lately, but I have certainly kept you in my prayers through your individual ups and downs. My heart has both rejoiced and broken with many things I have read recently. Through it all, I am still thankful for this community.

Thank your for your prayers for me too. I appreciate it more than you know!


A lot of thanks was already in this post,
 so I'll leave it at that for today.