Friday Quick Takes

Another week down and I am again, SO happy for the weekend!



1. Drove back to Austin on Tuesday for my first u/s in the series. My mom is always asking if she can come with me to appointments and things. She is sweet to offer, but I always say no, (mostly because I'd rather my Dh go, or no one) but I thought well, maybe company would be nice for 6 hours in the car this time and of course she'd just wait in the waiting room anyway. It was nice to eat lunch with her after my appt too before the trip back. Anyway, the u/s went pretty well. He said my uterus looked normal and about the right size. It took the dr. a bit to find my left ovary. I was thinking, I am almost positive they found two at my first u/s two years ago! When found it, he mentioned that it was smaller than the right one. He did say that most of the time they are the same size..hmm. Also, he pointed out a bit of what he called "free fluid" right under my uterus. He didn't seem alarmed, but called it "interesting" and said he would like to explore that more when I have surgery. So, the plan now is for me to finish out my u/s series where I live, to visit Austin one more time after the series is over, and then go for surgery for my next cycle. This will be sometime between days 6-10 in early April.

3. HSG was this morning. It was NOT fun by any means but I was able to take Aleve before and didn't have any crazy cramps afterwards. The worst of it didn't last very long thankfully. And the news? Left tube open.
Right tube closed. When they told me one was closed I automatically thought they would say the left was closed since that was the ovary that was smaller. At my u/s on Tuesday, Dr. K pointed out at least 10 follicles in the right ovary but didn't say he saw any in the left (there could have been I suppose, he just didn't say that). So how does that affect things with a small left ovary and a closed right tube?? Perhaps they'll be able to tell more what we're dealing with when they go in and look during surgery...not sure how to feel about all this. Just glad we are getting more pieces to this puzzle! And still hopeful that the more we know, the more we can fix!

2. I haven't mentioned it here yet, but after my little twins didn't need me to nanny much anymore, I started looking for a new job and finally found one! I had been applying for jobs on Care.com (where I found the job with the twins) and for weeks wasn't getting any responses. I was getting slightly desperate to just find anything when a lady contacted me to work for her family. She has two kids and needed someone M-Th. I originally was looking for something just a few days a week so I could keep up with housework, cooking, etc...(since I totally stink at managing my time and Dh has always said he'd rather me keep the house running than bring in money). However this job is 9:30-3:30 and for the month I have been there I have been able to do laundry/dishes/ironing in the mornings before I go and then get home before Dh does to finish and start dinner. I have even been to work on time or EARLY every day but two (one because I got stuck behind a train that decided to just stop on the tracks..ugh) and anyone who knows me knows this is a big deal!
They have a 5 year old boy and a 6 month old girl...the kids are sweet, parents laid back and the pay is better than I have ever gotten for a nanny job so I can't complain at all! My only concern lately is having to ask off work for appointments and things, but they actually had to try for a while after their first and the mom has PCOS so she is pretty understanding. Definitely thanking God for this opportunity to bring in a little extra especially with all the medical expenses we have lately and coming up.

3. Ordered all our new vitamins for Dh and I and I am excited to start getting into good habits of taking them together! Hopefully this motivation will last and we will stay pretty consistent. Time will tell I suppose.

4. I have been running more lately! Dh absolutely loves running and has done three or four (lost count) marathons, one 70.3 Iron Man triathlon, and just two weeks ago ran an ultra marathon (31 miles!)
Going with him to these races has definitely inspired me to get more consistent with my exercise, and the atmosphere of a race day has made me want to do them as well! Two years ago I ran my first 5k and last year, the 10k. Let me remind that I have NEVER liked running. I played tennis in high school and would only run to get better at tennis. It just never appealed to me to run for the sake of it. I would still love to play tennis, but since I don't get a chance to very often, I decided that I needed to make myself like running for several reasons. 1. It's free 2. I don't have to drive anywhere (probably wouldn't drive all the way to a gym) 3. It gives Dh and I one more thing in common 4. It's good to be active!
So, somehow with the help of a good playlist and some pretty nice weather, I have been able to run at least 3 or so times a week for about a month and a half! I ran 36 miles in February and I hope to beat that in March! Going from running maybe 5 miles in a month (if that) I am pretty happy with this progress. I still wouldn't say that I like it, but I do like how I feel when I finish. Hopefully the weather will stay nice because my motivation goes WAY DOWN if not. I am hoping by putting this in writing I will stay consistent for as long as possible. Though the times I have gone out to actually run in the summer I can count on one hand so I'll just cross that bridge when I come to it.

5. I have been reading Kelle Hampton's blog, Enjoying the Small Things, for about three years. I found her blog just after she had her second child and discovered at birth that little Nella had Down Syndrome. She described her raw emotions after her birth and how she learned to find beauty in the unexpected. Her birth story spread quickly and her blog gained many followers. I have been drawn to her beautiful pictures and heartfelt words as she chronicles her life and advocates for individuals with D.S.
Occasionally she will have a guest post from another blog and I was struck by the words of the lady who posted the other day. Her lifestyle is quite different from my own but I can relate to how she describes the longing for children. Especially when she says...

"There is room in my life for children. It’s the space below my rib cage, and it’s hollow, and it’s excruciating. I can’t talk myself out of it. This is a longing way, way beneath tissue, in a realm beyond sense and economic calculations. This blueprint of love is hard wired into me"

I can relate. I have felt "hard wired for love" since I was very young. I have always wanted to be a mama and share that love with little ones. I'm not looking for a guy to share with, but I can relate to the feeling of wanting to play it cool when talking to family or especially friends. By trying to seem nonchalant when people ask when you are having kids. To hold your tongue and nod when others say they don't want kids. Not wanting to scare them by divulging your dearest desire of just how badly you want this. Not wanting to show how bad it hurts...or even how it hurts to pretend it's no big deal. Just shows you that no matter what your life looks like...whether you are a daredevil adventure seeker or a homebody, the longing to be a mother would make you drop it all in a second, if you get the chance. Sure we have a lot "more free-time" and are "not tied down" at the moment, but Dh and I have both talked about how wonderful it will be to just spend time at home making memories with our little ones. And I'm sure I'll bring them to their daddy's races and we will have adventures of our own as well. :) It's worth a read if you get the chance.

6. Kickball starts next week. Yep, that's right...Dh and I are in a kickball league with some people from his work and this will be our third season to play with them! It's a nice Thursday distraction and time to just do something silly with friends. Before last year, I had not played since I was in third grade :) We play a game or two and then go to a local pub that sponsors the league...they have pizza, karaoke, and crazy door prizes that always look like they were picked up at a garage sale or Goodwill, so what's not to love?! Here's to doing something just out of the ordinary and fun now and then...we all need it!


7.  Thankful God is shedding more and more light into
our darkness and that I have friends and family who
are praying for us...and a really sweet Dh who helps
me stay positive.
Thankful you survived this all-over-the-
place quick takes!


8. Happy weekend y'all! Hope it is lovely!

A little more light

Happy March, y'all! And thank you all for your prayers!

It has been a busy week, and I was quite glad when the weekend finally arrived! I guess when the first day of the week involves a road trip, the rest of the week can seem rather long.

On Monday, Dh and I were able to sleep in a bit and started our trip about 11am. My appointment was at 3pm so we figured with a three hour drive and traffic we should be right on track.
The Vitae Clinic is in a larger building that was being remodeled so walking in onto unfinished floors and ducking sheets of plastic seemed to be a bad sign. Thankfully, we found the sign on the door and walked in about 2:45pm.

Dh and I were both a bit nervous and didn't know what to expect so we joked while we waited to be called back. I "fixed up" my charts a few days before so they would be ready to show Dr. K when we got there.
I am definitely not the world's best charter by a long shot so by "fixed up" I mean ordered new charts and filled in the past few months based on the observations I had been keeping track of on my phone. (I know, awful!) One thing I am particularly terrible with, is charting "I's." We looked at my charts while waiting, and laughed that they would probably take one look at my charts and say, ummm, I think we know why you aren't getting pregnant.  More "I"'s on the chart will most likely help your chances..lol. (Sure enough, Dr. K was quick to point that out..) I know I'm not great at marking them down, but it would have felt dishonest, though more accurate, if I had just thrown a bunch of them in random spots. Anyhow, moving on....

I will save you all the little details but will skip to the highlights:

Dr. K and his staff were all pleasant and seemed to be quite thorough which was nice because I really dislike getting the feeling from a doctor that he has better things to do! (Heck, he was so thorough we didn't leave the office until after 5!)

--Despite the fact that I am a yellow stamp user (I have never used green stamps), Dr. K recommended vitamin B-6 saying that more mucus really can't hurt.
--He recommended a good pre-natal vitamin. (I bought some and took them consistently when we first got married, but faded out after we found out it wouldn't be so easy...to be honest, I felt silly taking them)
--Dr. K wants us to find a new urologist in our area that we like for Dh to see and also to repeat a semen analysis test. This one will be our third. Faaan-tastic. (Just to recap, the first two showed decent count and motility, but poor morph. though we did have issues with getting it to the lab on time. We had to drive almost an hour for the second one and wondered if that could have caused such results.)
--He wants me to come in for an ultrasound series to see how I ovulate and with the timing of my cycle, it worked out that the first one will be this coming Tuesday! Fortunately, I will be able to have the follow-up ultrasounds in FtW so that is certainly a plus. The less driving, the better!
--Lastly, he ordered a HSG (putting dye through your tubes to make sure they are open) for me and since it has to be done between days 6-10, that too will be next week!
So, I definitely have a busy week ahead of me with driving to Austin for an u/s on Tuesday and then an HSG on Friday. Not worried about the u/s. Apprehensive about the HSG. I have never had any sort of surgery or procedure at a hospital so this will be all new for me!

I am definitely thankful that we have direction now and have new paths to explore in solving this IF puzzle. A little more light, you could say in what seems like a very long, and dark journey at times.
And though it seems like things will get quite busy, I am thankful things are happening fast. The faster we check these things off, the faster we'll get answers, right?! That's my theory anyway.

Almost forgot...surgery is definitely still a strong possibility. I'm not sure the results of anything we're doing until then would make having surgery unnecessary. (Unless of course we are blessed with a little one before then! ;)

Interestingly enough, as we keep moving in this direction to conceive, adoption has been on my heart more than ever. So, who knows what twists and turns God has planned for us! We are definitely open to any and all possibilities to grow our family.



My main thankfuls are 3 paragraphs up...
But a bonus one would be thankful for 70 degree weather today...it's certainly feeling more like Spring!